Dark Echoes
Zel's pale fingertips dug into her scalp as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Not now. Please, not now.
Her breating was ragged and shallow as she tried to calm mind, tried as hard as she could to block her out. The Mother Crystal considered her visions a gift, and gave said gift abundantly to her chosen children.
But right now Zel didn't see it as a gift.
Sure, it was useful in her world saving duties, when she needed to know something about an enemy, or a stranger, or a person she would never ever see again. But not when she was with friends.
She didn't want these visions. She didn't like peeking into the hearts of those she loved and held dear. Those memories weren't for her unless they chose to share them, and frankly, it was a chore just to remember what knowledge she learned legitimately and which things Hydealyn had shown her.
Her breathing slowly grew more rhythmic, and the pulses of pain ebbed. Trying to block out the visions took all she had, and while she could go short bursts keeping it in check, too much suppression resulted in migraines and occasionally blackouts.
She didn't want to blackout.
If that happened, she would have no resistance against the faded and intangible scenes that the heart of the planet itself deemed important to show her. So she fought it. The pain seemed to double, and she curled up into a ball, whimpering slightly as she tucked herself away in the corner of the infirmary, behind one of the beds.
No one could see her like this. Not because she was afraid of appearing weak, but because it would simply bring up too many questions. If it was something physical, why could she not just heal it with magic? But it wasn't. It was using sheer force of will to block off Hydealyn's intrusive visions. If this kept happening, people would know. The friends she had managed to make would likely treat her differently. Nearly everyone who knew did. And there were many people who intrinsically distrusted any who were echo-blessed.
So she hid herself away, praying no one would come in. Trying so hard not to see things. She didn't need to see these things, to know these memories. If she needed to know, her friends would tell her themselves. They would no doubt see her echo as a breach of trust, as unpredictable and involutary as it was.
Zel broke down into sobs as the pain subsided...for now. She couldn't block the Mother Crystal out forever, but for now, she could rest a little. With no more fight left in her, the miqo'te fell asleep where she lay on the floor. A new day would find her soon enough.
Written 2019/03/14
Posted 2024/03/06